Wholesome family values

I’ve had writers block for the last few days. I’m sure it was due to a number of factors but most likely it was seeing this rare desert sea lion. I think they are also called California sea lions by some people who “claim” to be in the know.
One of the things I found most appealing about Utah was the lack of crime. After someone broke into my car in Massachusetts and made off with my GPS I felt completely violated, not to mention stranded with absolutely no way of finding my way home. It was refreshing to discover that crime did not exist in Utah; I got this information first hand from a lady that runs Valpak.

Valpak is a business that sells gift certificates at half price that can be used instead of cash at local establishments that range from a board game store to a Mexican restaurant. These gift certificates I found out upon visiting the Valpak offices are nothing more than black and white photo copies. I was informed that this is possible in Utah due to wholesome family values and a sense of community pride.

Intrigued by these honest people, I wanted to participate. So I went out and bought myself a flag that I proudly displayed outside my office building in recognition of national speak like a pirate day.
The flag was promptly stolen that evening. I swear I am utilizing my other new found Utah freedom of gun ownership and camping by a tree outside the office.

Also I have located 20 photo copies for free burritos that somehow materialized in my wallet.