Praise Jebus

I really wanted to keep posting on a regular basis but last night the 2 bartenders who live upstairs from me were throwing a loud party which kept me from concentrating on my writing. I had no choice but to go upstairs and explain my one simple rule of throwing loud parties after hours, which resulted in my slight hangover this morning. I’m actually not sure what they do for a living.

I’ve heard a lot about how beautiful the parks and trails are and yesterday despite the weather decided to explore the Timpanogos Cave located high in the Wasatch Mountains. I didn’t want to go alone and tried inviting the 2 girls I’ve dated but they just mumbled something about crazy people hiking up mountains in the rain. So off I went alone but determined and despite my earlier experience unarmed.

The ominous pass that leads through the mountains is only a few miles from my house. I was unprepared for the miraculous transformation from desert to lush forests just on the other side.

At the ranger station I purchased a ticket for a guided tour of the cave for an hour in the future to give myself more than enough time to casually walk the 2 miles up the mountain. The ranger left me with one piece of advice. She said the rain increases the chance of rock slides on the mountain. If I hear clapping sounds, get small next to the mountain, put my hands over my head and pray to Jebus. Stories told to scare small children into staying close by their parents, I was sure.

I bought a poncho to keep dry and started on my way. The walk was amazingly easy at first with only a slight incline, then very quickly it got steeper. Before long I was wheezing like an old man. Children stopped to check on me as they passed by on their way down merrily skipping along. Again I didn’t think to bring any water and took to sucking the rain off my poncho to keep myself hydrated. Note to self, when hiking, bring water and a 45.

The very first sign I encountered was designed to preserve the natural beauty for future visitors that read "All minerals plants or animals must be left undisturbed." I didn’t give the last part of that much thought until I encountered other signs during my hike up the mountain.

The last animal sign convinced me that the rangers really know how to put visitors at ease. It read “Wild animals are not accustomed to human food, it could make them sick". The two things I didn’t see on my way up were rangers who must have a secret elevator and other “crazy” people hiking up in the rain.

About halfway up I encountered another sign. Damn this mountain has a lot of signs. This one read, “Do not stop in the striped areas, increased risk of rock slides”. That makes perfect sense to me I thought as I stopped in the middle of one to take this picture. If those rocks were to fall and hit me in the head, they could cause a tumor or something.

After licking my poncho dry and 18 rest brakes I was almost at the top of the mountain when I heard that clapping sound the ranger warned me about. I wasn’t sure what it was nor where it was coming from so I stopped to analyze the situation. About 3 seconds later a huge rock smashed into a thousand pieces and left a very large depression where I would have been had I kept moving. A ranger with a bloody arm came out to see if I was ok, she had been thrown out of the way of the other falling rocks by another ranger.

At least I arrived at the cave with 10 minutes to spare.

Tomorrow I will post pictures of Cave Bacon and the sights I encountered on my way down the mountain.