More wierd business practices

After surviving my walk to the movies I decided that physical exercise wasn't entirely a bad thing. Not wanting to overdo it however, I decided a cheap bicycle was better than walking to work.

For me at least Wal-Mart is synonymous with cheap both for price and quality, but for this experiment which is sure to get old in less than a week, the former is more important than the latter. I somehow won the argument that all management should ride bikes to work, and so everyone piled into the CFO’s truck and ventured the mile down to the closest Wal-Mart, which seems to be in every town in this part of the country.

I found a bicycle pump in one of the isles and prepared all 3 bikes for a ride to work the next day. There was even a contest for who could find the gayest looking helmet, which I won by declaring that I would not be wearing one.

At the end of the day when preparing to take my new instrument of torture and misery home, I found that my front tire had deflated. No bid deal right? I still had the receipt and should have been able to exchange my new toy for a non defective model. At least it seems like an easy solution.

I arrived at the local Wal-Mart to find that the greeters at the front of the store actually have a purpose. One of them stuck a return tag on my bike and was mumbling something about safety and death rates for bicyclists in Utah as I left her behind to search for the customer service line.

After a short wait, made shorter by people who left the line in search of their kids who had run off, I made it to the cashier. I’d like a shiny new bicycle please, this one is defective I told the nice customer service lady, putting on my most enchanting smile.

I was informed that it is Wal-Mart policy not to accept returns for defects in the tire or brakes. It’s not my fault I explained, look I said, I didn’t even take the cardboard ads out of the tires. It’s out of my hands the lady told me, at best she could impound the vehicle and hold it for the bicycle mechanic who would come by when he was available to inspect and rule on the situation.

I still have the receipt I pleaded. The merchandise is defective and I only wish to procure a working model to enhance my failing health. The lady however stood firm and unyielding. Sigh, I guess I’ll have to ask for a refund then. Well that would be fine the lady told me and promptly refunded my purchase. I suspect I should probably wait till her shift is over before picking up an identical bicycle.

I sometimes wonder why I am the only person blessed with such entertainment? But as long as I am, it is my duty to share it with you.