Junk mail

I’ve decided I love to write. Sometimes the words are stressed like constipation, straining to come out, but when they flow like music it’s beautiful and often entertaining. I’m certainly no prodigy, I need to practice my instrument, and for this reason I’m vowing to continue this blog for the duration of my stay in this homogeneous state.

I enjoy many activities besides writing, which isn’t to say I enjoy them on a regular basis or even annually, I do however have a long list of things that would delight me should they fall into my lap with no exertion on my part. There are however, a few items which really irk me, one of which is junk mail. Into this category I group advertisements, bills, coupons, and religious flyers that seem to find their way to my door more often these days then ever before. I tried to take a picture of what happens when I leave piles of these papers at my doorstep; however I found cats not to be the most poseable creatures.

I have gotten fairly good at keeping papers out of my apartment for the above reason. What really irritates me is when I am tricked into bringing trash into my home.

The other day I got a letter from my insurance company. On the outside it said in very large letters meant to seem important that a bill requiring my immediate attention was enclosed. I decided to bring the letter home since that morning I had seen a police officer pull over 2 kids in front of my office. Place them in handcuffs. Then proceed to conduct a 20 minute chemical test on a bottle he had found in one of their pockets only to eventually and I should add with a very disappointed expression remove the handcuffs and return the bottle which turned out to actually contain the prescription listed on the front of the bottle. I had no desire to be subject to a more painful examination should I be found without proper insurance.

Imagine my anger when upon opening the letter I found it read. Payment required $0.00. Well of course the payment required was $0.00. That is actually my main reason for paying the bills on time; to bring the payment required to $0.00. At this point I could have sat back, taken a breath and let tranquility wash over me. Instead I chose to open a letter from my bank which read. Your online statement is now available. I’m not sure what happened after that, it’s all a blank.