My Visit to Utah

Lesson Learned

2008-07-18T00:07:00.006-06:00

This is what happens when you upset the waitress at IHOP by telling her you don't like their strawberries and would like extra blueberries on the red white and blue pancake special instead.
Yes of course I ate it.

Holy Hell

2008-07-17T23:28:00.008-06:00

It’s nice to know that Utah can still surprise me. I mean in a pleasant way.

Today was Day one of the Geex Convention. A con I did not wish to go to and predicted would have less than 1000 people attending. I was so blasé over the event, I completely forgot to bring an extension cord and power strip for my demo setup. After finding out that a rental for both would be $98, (and mind you this is for RENTING a 15 foot extension cord and power strip that they actually wanted it back in working order) I decided to make the trek that unbeknownst to me would take an hour and have me walking for miles, I went off in search of a mall that supposedly housed an Office Depot.

The mall I found was pretty incredible. It reminded me of the outdoor mall my friend Phil lives in but better, because this one had an IMAX theatre, was way cleaner, with blocks of fountains, and prices for apartments above the mall that I could someday soon afford. The only thing that could have made it better was if it had shops I actually wanted to patronize or restaurants I would eat at.

Then there was the time yesterday when I was driving fairly quickly, trying to get out of the seedier part of town when I caught a glimpse of something out of the corner of my eye that made me spin around giving myself whiplash screaming HOLY HELL WTF WAS THAT. Some guy had set up rows of metal animal sculptures all over an empty parking lot. It was rather terrifying and intriguing at the same time.

You better not cry, you better not pout, Rudolph the rain dear is coming and he's gona eat ya.
Phil this one's for you. You need a new Monkey.

Convention Season

2008-07-12T17:35:00.002-06:00

The convention season is now in full swing. I am getting ready to do a little bit of traveling to promote our company and flagship game.

My first stop is just 40 miles north of the office in Salt Lake City, the last bastion of normalcy in Utah. The GEEX convention promises 5,000 local players. I think the event management is ambitious to think they will attract that many players from Utah who play with these electronic tools of the devil. 10 hour per day exhibit hall hours only add to my excitement over this event.

Not taking advantage of my position at all, I have arranged to leave clean up to someone else and depart the convention Saturday night to fly to San Diego. The Second Convention on my stop is Comic Con. I have not been able to locate solid numbers of attendees for this convention except that on the preview day before it opens up to the real crowd, 30,000 people paid extra to visit the exhibit hall. I expect over 70,000 people will be there over the fun filled 5 days, which incidentally is the longest of the conventions.

I am not staying on Heathers Yacht, eating sushi every night on the company’s dime while in town. Oh wait, yes I am. This is a Google Map from Heathers Yacht to the Convention.
Her Yacht is 9 slips out from the gazebo to the right of the pool if anyone cares. Google satellite view would scare me if it wasn’t so freeken cool.

I actually get to come home and see if my cat still lives before flying to Indianapolis for Gen Con. This convention is for D&D and Collectible card game players. They are probably the strangest of the bunch, and resemble me the most. This convention typically gets around 30,000 over a fun filled 4 days. Unlike the other 2 out of town conventions however, I will have 2 guys from management with me to help exhibit. This is also the only one of the “large” conventions where we have our own booth. We are part of much larger booths at Comic Con and Dragon Con that we were invited to join.

I get to spend a few more days in Utah before flying out to Dragon Con in Atlanta for another fun filled week. I may insist on working from NJ between Gen Con and Dragon Con.

Since my contract ran out, I’ve been able to renegotiate. Part of the new terms state that I only have to be in the office 2 weeks a month, however management is insisting that technically the conventions count as out of the office time. We’ll see about that.

In the mean time I am spending plenty of time out of the office to get my creative juices flowing. I am doing a lot of writing for promotions these days, and redesigning certain parts of our game. Here is a picture of my current work environment. While it changes daily, this place is one of my favorites.

Back from the Con

2008-06-30T22:31:00.007-06:00

I’ll post a more detailed account of this week’s events later but since I can’t sleep on this plane I figure I’d write up a summary of the last few days.

While I type I find myself wondering, what is justifiable homicide? Surely the kid sitting next to me for the first leg of my flight trying to figure out exactly how long he can keep a very large coin spinning would fall into that category. I also wonder if I can get arrested for taking pictures of little boys. The convention was actually not as difficult as I first imagined. While I felt like I would lose my voice at some point on Friday, contracting the worst case of diarrhea that I have ever had in my life, totally took my mind off my throat. Half a bottle of Pepto Bismol seemed to have fixed both problems by Saturday morning.

Our booth was right behind the Pokemon pavilion and I quickly got into the spirit. Although luckily enough only one kid under 18 insisted on talking to me the entire convention, he later returned and purchased $100 worth of product.

The night life was a welcome change from Utah. Even though the average person looked like this the weirder ones stayed away from the bars.

We had a lot of our Saga players stop by to say hello, maybe because they give me money or maybe because of the drinks they bought for me I am going to say they are decent folk.

I suspect they thought that if I got drunk enough I would divulge some secrets about the upcoming expansion, but I am a professional.

Off To The Games

2008-06-24T22:57:00.006-06:00

It has been 7 years since I manned a booth at a game convention. The memory of the pain and terror is dull now, and I believe I have what it takes to tackle the task again. I recently attended the GAMA convention in Vegas with 500 hobby store owners from across America with 3 of my team members. We manned two demo stations and were the talk of the Con. We kicked some serious ass and had everyone talking about the new collectible RTS game that is going to revitalize the hobby store industry.

The convention season is just starting, the next one on the list is Origins in Columbus Ohio with a slightly larger attendance of 35,000 rabid gamers. This day I woke up at the ungodly hour of 3AM, rolled over onto my cats head and with a swipe of a claw and a sharp pain across my ribs, I was awake and ready to start the trip.

Apparently Tuesday is the day the Mormon missionaries fly out across the nation to spread the gospel. Fearful that should one sit next to me, I would be in for 6 hours of preaching I quickly prepared a story that I was sure would dissuade any youngster from trying to preach further.

Sure enough the plane was full and a black sister (All the guys are called Elders and the girls Sisters) took her seat next to me and with a smile, introduced herself as Dante. She knew right away that I was a non believer and asked me about my faith. Demonologist I slyly replied. Oh I’m from Hati and know all about black magic, my family does not approve of my choice to follow the teachings of Jesus and practice black magic. Feeling suddenly outmatched, I had no choice but to drop the façade and subject myself to hours of preaching.
At some point during the lesson she must have gotten tired of my blank stare and fell asleep as her head hit the tray unfolded in front of her seat. I felt it rude to take a picture at this time. The angry stare of the very large Mormon physical fitness trainer sitting next to her may have also dissuaded me.

The second leg of my trip was on a plain a bit smaller than I was comfortable with. I can’t say the ability to feel every turn and wind gust was especially entertaining. I found myself wishing for the security sister Dante seemed to convey. I briefly considered praying to god as she had suggested, but was jarred to reality in the next moment as the landing gear retracting made the little plain jump.

For my steed on this adventure, I was given a Volvo S70, which may be a bit beyond what my aging years can handle. I managed to figure out, peg A into slot B but sat for minutes poking and jabbing at the start stop engine button before noticing the flashing lights and sirens with the message “Step on the break THEN press the start button”
That obstacle out of the way, I made good time to the hotel where I will return each night to nurse the wounds that 35,000 gamers can inflict. Tomorrow is setup, Thursday I dive into Hell.

When I grow up

2008-06-18T19:39:00.003-06:00

Wanting to be a Fireman or Policeman is a bit cliché. These days kids want to grow up to play in the NBA, make computer games or do what ever it is their Dad does until he forbids them to follow in his footsteps.

I always thought it would be interesting even for awhile to write messages for fortune cookie companies. But how does one get started on this career track? Is that really a job someone has or is it some mythical position such as game tester? Well one of our mythical game testers decided to bake us some fortune cookies today and show off her creativity.

My First Picture

2008-06-14T15:21:00.001-06:00

My bro Dave sent me a new camera for my birthday along with enough memory to start taking pictures of every random thing I come across.

I'm not sure how well this will work until I install something on this machine that can edit pictures, but for now lets try one of the view when I leave my place.

More wierd business practices

2008-06-11T15:32:00.002-06:00

After surviving my walk to the movies I decided that physical exercise wasn't entirely a bad thing. Not wanting to overdo it however, I decided a cheap bicycle was better than walking to work.

For me at least Wal-Mart is synonymous with cheap both for price and quality, but for this experiment which is sure to get old in less than a week, the former is more important than the latter. I somehow won the argument that all management should ride bikes to work, and so everyone piled into the CFO’s truck and ventured the mile down to the closest Wal-Mart, which seems to be in every town in this part of the country.

I found a bicycle pump in one of the isles and prepared all 3 bikes for a ride to work the next day. There was even a contest for who could find the gayest looking helmet, which I won by declaring that I would not be wearing one.

At the end of the day when preparing to take my new instrument of torture and misery home, I found that my front tire had deflated. No bid deal right? I still had the receipt and should have been able to exchange my new toy for a non defective model. At least it seems like an easy solution.

I arrived at the local Wal-Mart to find that the greeters at the front of the store actually have a purpose. One of them stuck a return tag on my bike and was mumbling something about safety and death rates for bicyclists in Utah as I left her behind to search for the customer service line.

After a short wait, made shorter by people who left the line in search of their kids who had run off, I made it to the cashier. I’d like a shiny new bicycle please, this one is defective I told the nice customer service lady, putting on my most enchanting smile.

I was informed that it is Wal-Mart policy not to accept returns for defects in the tire or brakes. It’s not my fault I explained, look I said, I didn’t even take the cardboard ads out of the tires. It’s out of my hands the lady told me, at best she could impound the vehicle and hold it for the bicycle mechanic who would come by when he was available to inspect and rule on the situation.

I still have the receipt I pleaded. The merchandise is defective and I only wish to procure a working model to enhance my failing health. The lady however stood firm and unyielding. Sigh, I guess I’ll have to ask for a refund then. Well that would be fine the lady told me and promptly refunded my purchase. I suspect I should probably wait till her shift is over before picking up an identical bicycle.

I sometimes wonder why I am the only person blessed with such entertainment? But as long as I am, it is my duty to share it with you.

My product

2008-06-10T10:59:00.002-06:00

It's been awhile since I gave up this blog and a lot has happened. In the future I will touch on events at work, however for now, here is a real photo of how the retail product turned out.

It is now being carried by somewhere between 100-200 stores across the US and Canada and may be showing up in the UK soon. We are still working on the large retail chains in the US.

Stupid internet practices

2008-06-10T10:42:00.002-06:00

These days when a good portion of the world lives online, you would think business's have "figured it out". Unfortunately I am still encountering absurd business practices.

I celebrated my 29th birthday last week and unlike every year past, this time the choice of gifts was simple for my sister. I could really use a nice digital camera, which should have been easy to research, locate, purchase and deliver with a few keystrokes sitting at the kitchen table.

This morning I received a call from the company selling the camera to inform me that they could not ship the camera to the address provided unless it was added as a secondary billing address to the credit card used. WTF

You may as well put a huge header on your billing page. FOR PERSONAL USE ONLY, NO GIFTS ALLOWED. These days when half of the spam in my inbox is from companies suggesting I send Viagra to my dad for fathers day you would think gifts to people other than yourself would be encouraged. At the very least, don't allow the shipping and billing address to differ and waste my time.

As long as they took the time to make a phone call you would think the obvious course of action would have been to call the credit card company and ask for verification of purchase. Maybe I'm just a genius who should be making millions consulting to such companies, then again, maybe not.

Things I am thankful for

2008-06-09T14:54:00.010-06:00

Sometimes it is important to take a moment in life to reflect on things you are thankful for.

Sonic is a restaurant which tries to take customers back to the era of drive in restaurants. Each parking spot at Sonic has a menu and intercom you can use to place your order. After a few minutes a cute girl would roll out to your car on skates with order in hand and a tray in case you felt like making a mess in your front seat.

The drive through line winds around the entire lot, ending in an exactly 1 intercom you can use to place your oder and wait for it to be made and brought out to you. Grateful for the four cars in front of me, I had some time to contemplate on what I was thankful for this day.

This stick, which helped me limp home yesterday after my 8 mile walk to the movies. I found it leaned up against a tree, next to a small dam that had a narrow lip I was able to use to climb to the other side to continue my journey.

Sonic, for having a $2.50 latte and an all day breakfast menu. Also being intelligent enough, never to wait in the drive through line again.

Mythbusers, for proving that even with gas prices approaching $10 a gallon, it is still cheaper to run the AC than drive with the windows down. Thank God Almighty for Mythbusters.

Yes I've been in Utah too long

I'm still here and so is this blog

2008-06-08T19:48:00.003-06:00

I don't know why I decided to walk to the movie theatre today. Perhaps it was the price of gas or the weather. Maybe I was inspired by the latest movie I watched, which seems unlikely since it was about a little midget thief posing as a baby. More than likely I just wanted some time to think, which can be difficult while driving in the valley.

Many thoughts came and went as I made the five mile trek to see a disappointing installment of the Indiana Jones series. How much longer am I going to be stuck in this state, where should I go next? Should I take some of the opportunities opening up to me in the game industry? Why do my feet hurt so damn bad? I wonder if that girl driving by was checking out my ass and why did she have a sour look on her face?

Ultimately my only decision was to stop procrastinating and start up this blog again. I want to thank everyone for their support.

I'm still here, still frustrated with my coworkers inability to keep up with my promotions. While I am no longer sure if I will see this project to the end, I am not giving up yet. 2500 new players joined Saga today, and while many left due to crashes and bugs still present in the game, others will come and the bugs will be dealt with to whatever degree this crew can. Hopefully someday soon a large publisher will take notice of all the people coming and offer to take this game off our hands and do it right, or at least take notice of me and make me an offer I can't refuse.

Till then I'll be spending more 24 hour nights in front of the screen, managing promotions and player expectations. With the help of my trusty companion who stayed up all night helping.

This one's for you Phil, and damn be your curse.

Absurdity

2007-12-27T00:53:00.000-07:00

When your success depends mostly on your imagination and of course the ability to recognize and execute on good ideas sometimes the most fantastic imaginings flutter by. To stay on focus I don’t let my mind wander too far, but inevitably a series of conversations around me spawn such horrific beasts I hasten to slay them for fear of dwelling on them too long.

Ordinarily I would never share any of my fantastic journeys, but I’ve already shared so much so why not reveal just a glimpse of the thoughts I need to wade through to get to the good marketing idea’s that I now nurture.

Today we on the way to lunch we had a conversation about donating to good causes, and how much money it takes to save a life of a child in Africa. One of my coworkers having lived most of his life in Africa was able to confirm first hand that even the small amount of donations from America ware actually doing a lot of good there. We then talked about a movie that just came out, “Charlie Wilson's War". How Charlie Wilson was able to raise 1 billion dollars to fight a war in Afghanistan but was unable to raise another penny for humanitarian efforts afterwards. Before we were done with lunch the conversation drifted to the US war in Iraq and what a royal fuck up that turned out to be.

On the way home my mind started to drift and here is just one thought that fluttered by. Please don’t hold it against me for I have no control over these things and would never even consider starting an organization for the cause.

Combining all 3 previous conversations I thought. If it is so easy to fund military efforts, instead of sending food to Africa, let’s send guns, lots and lots of guns. Then we can tell the people that all the food is in Iraq, the Taliban have it.

Yes I know, it was a cruel thought and was around for but an instant. I have hundreds of these every day, most of which I am unaware of. However when time allows they keep me entertained better then any movie could. Scared yet?

Dad, I know as soon as you read this your going to call and lecture me on the absurdity of this idea. Please don’t. Also I am fully aware that I am trying to make a living selling virtual property. It’s not the same.

The product

2007-12-21T09:55:00.000-07:00

This is our artists rendition of the Saga retail display. Since this was made I've decided to go with a full size CD rather then the mini DVD pictured to allow compatibility with a greater number of computers and to leave room on the back of a CD sleeve for installation directions.

In addition to the game display pictured bellow, we will sell booster packs similar to the 3 included with the game purchase.

This is the front and back of the postcard that I hope will show up on the counter of every hobby store in America next month. We have always had a very positive response from the majority of our players. Since Hobby store owners are traditionally wary of picking up new products, having been burned many times in the past, the Beta trial offered on this postcard will return many positive reviews to the store owner from their customers.
This combined with our phone calls to explain to store owners why they should distribute the Beta invitations, and an article in next weeks Scrye magazine which is pretty much the bible for collectible card games, I hope will gain us a customer or two.

I have minions

2007-12-21T01:52:00.001-07:00

Each time the executive producer would tap me for a marketing promotion, another crack would open and idea would leak out. These last few days I’ve felt as if a great dam of ideas has burst out of my chest. My day is filled with phone calls and emails trying to coordinate online and print media, negotiating contracts with distributors, working with printers, and tapping the leaders in nitch markets for coverage.

I feel I could do everything if I just had more time, or more people, or more money, always more. I am however happy to have what little I can get from our little startup. I would much rather work with finite resources then deal with infinite red tape at a larger well funded studio. Decisions literally take minutes from conception to reality. As I already wrote, last week I decided we should sell Saga to hobby stores because those players would grok the concept. I walked into the producers’ office and told him about my plan, he said wow that’s cool, and right there the decision to create a retail product was made.

The only remaining detail was to create concept drawings, hire artists for the box and packaging art, secure printing for the packaging, paper and CD, sign distribution deals with national and international distributors, and promote the product. Simple!

Jason, our executive producer is helping out with the art on top of his already overflowing stack of responsibilities, so the rest falls on me.

Most of the Beta postcards for players have already been sent to distributors and will go out to hobby stores next week. In addition I thought it would be beneficial to hire a staff to call every store and speak to the store owners in person to teach them about Saga so that they could better explain it to their customers and become excited about the opportunity to sell a virtual online game.

I put an ad into 2 local online classifieds and received many responses. My requirements were simple. Know more about games then my mom, know how to use a web browser, have an email address, and have a basic understanding of typing information into excel. Half the people I spoke with failed on the first 2 points. One lady failed after she said she was qualified to promote games because her kids played them. She also failed points 3 and 4 in case you think I’m being overly harsh.

I ended up hiring 3 people. One guy who was previously a telemarketer and young enough to play games and use a computer regularly. A girl who seemed intelligent but got sick the next day and has not yet shown up for work. And a guy with a great resume’ who will be starting tomorrow. The last guy is actually overqualified and will be tasked with securing distribution in Japan and Korea in addition to contacting stores, since he not only speaks Japanese but has contacts with a distributor in Asia. I’m not really sure why the last guy applied except he claims he wants to get his foot in the door in hopes of a promotion after we launch. If he is genuine I will take care of him when that happens.

I spent today teaching the telemarketer to not be a telemarketer. He first tried using a script that I had to take away, and then kept rushing through his presentation afraid the store owners would hang up. It took about 2 hours for me to get through to him that game store owners are actually ecstatic that a game company would take the time to personally call them. He got much better before the day was through and now you would not be able to tell that he was once a telemarketer.

I can’t really blame the guy. No one has ever tried anything like this before. Who ever heard of hiring a staff to call people and not try to sell them anything or ask them for anything? You don’t say Hi my name is, instead you say, Hey I’m Slava. These people don’t know you but they want to be your friend. Who the fuck knows? Maybe I’m just crazy, or maybe I’m just crazy enough to sell a virtual collectable product. All I know is, the sooner I get these 3 people set up, the sooner I can work on my next idea that’s so top secret I can’t even blog about it, but it’s already in motion and so far working as predicted.

Tomorrow I will post pictures of the retail product and beta post cards.

Junk mail

2007-12-20T00:40:00.000-07:00

I’ve decided I love to write. Sometimes the words are stressed like constipation, straining to come out, but when they flow like music it’s beautiful and often entertaining. I’m certainly no prodigy, I need to practice my instrument, and for this reason I’m vowing to continue this blog for the duration of my stay in this homogeneous state.

I enjoy many activities besides writing, which isn’t to say I enjoy them on a regular basis or even annually, I do however have a long list of things that would delight me should they fall into my lap with no exertion on my part. There are however, a few items which really irk me, one of which is junk mail. Into this category I group advertisements, bills, coupons, and religious flyers that seem to find their way to my door more often these days then ever before. I tried to take a picture of what happens when I leave piles of these papers at my doorstep; however I found cats not to be the most poseable creatures.

I have gotten fairly good at keeping papers out of my apartment for the above reason. What really irritates me is when I am tricked into bringing trash into my home.

The other day I got a letter from my insurance company. On the outside it said in very large letters meant to seem important that a bill requiring my immediate attention was enclosed. I decided to bring the letter home since that morning I had seen a police officer pull over 2 kids in front of my office. Place them in handcuffs. Then proceed to conduct a 20 minute chemical test on a bottle he had found in one of their pockets only to eventually and I should add with a very disappointed expression remove the handcuffs and return the bottle which turned out to actually contain the prescription listed on the front of the bottle. I had no desire to be subject to a more painful examination should I be found without proper insurance.

Imagine my anger when upon opening the letter I found it read. Payment required $0.00. Well of course the payment required was $0.00. That is actually my main reason for paying the bills on time; to bring the payment required to $0.00. At this point I could have sat back, taken a breath and let tranquility wash over me. Instead I chose to open a letter from my bank which read. Your online statement is now available. I’m not sure what happened after that, it’s all a blank.

Computer genius

2007-12-18T02:59:00.000-07:00

I used to think I was so smart. I guess that outlook changed when I went to High school in NY. Having previously attended a religious school where people were convinced in the existence of a god and spent a great deal of time on rituals devoted to this belief, followed by a public school in the Bronx where I only had to show up for class to blow the curve for everyone, the Bronx High school of science was a lesson in humility.

Conscious of this realization, I went through the next part of my life convinced that everyone had the same potentials, only requiring the desire to learn. Then as I entered the “real” world my perception changed yet again.

I have met some incredible people over the years, and am more then proud today to call many of them friends. However there are other individuals who vex and perplex me. Here are a few amusing examples.

One of the QA testers working on Saga is a great guy with the best of intentions. I’ve given him some advice which I believe to be solid and try to give him opportunities to prove him self. Sometimes however my plan backfires, such as the other day when I gave him the keys to my car with the task of taking a stack of promotional material to Kinko’s for a print test. It was previously my belief that anyone with a driver’s license can get into any car without a clutch and drive 2 miles. I was proven wrong when the poor guy returned flustered and apologetic claiming he had driven my car to the shop in first gear without realizing it.

I’m not really sure how anyone can drive in first gear without realizing that something is wrong. What really puzzles me is that my car has a Tiptronic transmission and the gear shift only goes down to Drive. In order to go above 10 miles an hour in first gear a person would have to purposefully shift the car into Tiptronic then constantly hit the down gear every 5 feet to keep the car from up shifting. I highly doubt this was done. Yet the poor guy is convinced a magical first gear appeared on my gear shifter and is now missing.

This is actually only mildly amusing when I consider the sales guy who helped me buy a new cell phone for one of my staff this evening. After picking my phone, I expected to check out quickly and get back to the office. Cricket a new phone company that has unlimited calling, does not require a contract so there was nothing for me to fill out, nor any plans for the sales person to sign me up for.

I stood in the middle of a mall teaming with Christmas shoppers, afraid for my life watching this young man press what seemed like the same set of keys over and over for about 5 minutes with a blank unchanging look on his face. He didn’t seem to be on any sort of drugs so I expected his expression to change as he got closer to completing my order, yet after 10 minutes, he wore the same blank stare and continued to hit what I realized was the same 2 keys over and over.

Finally my curiosity got the best of me and I stepped over to his side of the counter to explore the situation further. At this point I should have taken a video with my cell phone because there is no way without knowing my distaste for lying that anyone would believe this story. The guy was standing there with a cursor in the price paid cell, trying to enter the correct amount, unfortunately, every time he would hit a key, the cursor would move one cell to the left. At which point he would press the right arrow key to get back into the correct position and repeat the process.

I observed this behavior in amazement for awhile longer, before reaching over and hitting the Num Lock key. His only comment after completing the transaction was, “Wow, you must be really good with computers”. "Ya something like that", I replied as I shuffled away.

My dilemma

2007-12-16T22:23:00.000-07:00

Today I find myself contemplating blogging etiquette. Originally it was my intention to entertain my friends while having a place to vent my thoughts; however blogs being on the internet and the internet being a public forum, there are rules that must be followed as in any other public situation.

Already my blog has been located by my coworkers making me feel uneasy about writing anything touching on religion. Obviously since it is read by my parents, a certain prudence must be exercised regarding not only language but subject matter. It gets even worse from there. Since I am the marketing director for a company hoping to entertain many tens if not hundreds of thousands of people I must assume a portion of the player base will locate the blog. If that’s not bad enough, people I deal with on a professional level are sure to google my name. My blog isn’t exactly obfuscated being the 2nd hit.

I could certainly deal with my friends. Never having been one to hide my feelings my thoughts about each of them certainly won’t change their opinion of me, which is why the few friends I keep are true friends. Unfortunately, even though I only refer to them by first names some of them also have a public image which I have to be careful not to mar. So from now on writing about any of my friends is out of the question.

Writing about my coworkers is definitely out. We’ve only worked together for a brief period of time and while jests of all manner are typical through out the day, the inflections present in speech make them obviously light hearted. Putting something down in print no matter the meaning, could easily become misconstrued.

I shouldn’t even need to mention the consequences of writing anything about a business contact to myself or those I work with.

Which leaves what?

Writing about myself? To think anyone out there cares about my opinion or daily activities is a bit conceited, but really there is nothing else.

Actually it’s not that bad. I have always written about my views and usually most unfortunate events I am involved in and have received some praises, that the words have lightened some ones day.

Marketing Guru or maybe not

2007-12-13T02:08:00.000-07:00

Work has been absolutely crazy over the last couple of months. I’ve been promoted to Marketing director, a position in this company that for some reason doesn’t come with a staff, not even a busty assistant. I’ve run some grass roots marketing campaigns in the past, when our company was one of two producing online collectable games and I knew which website to contact for coverage. Today everyone and their mother has a collectable online game and even grandma has a review site and expects to be treated as if someone cares what the old gal thinks.

I’ve been dragging myself into work between 8 and 10 in the morning and getting home no earlier then midnight with the exception of one day on the weekend when I try to spend at least a few hours not thinking about new marketing promotions. Last weekend I got out to Park City where I watched in the freezing snow, the US Bobsled team, take the gold medal with 16 other people who came out to support our Olympic athletes. The highlight of the event was when a member of the Italian team jumped out of his sled after a run down the mountain and threw my Uncle, who is the manager of the US team, a wedge of cheese that he obviously smuggled down in his pants. I was told it was a running joke between them and was given the cheese to take home.

I like to deceive myself that our company promotions are going well, however I am plagued by a feeling that I am missing opportunities that a professional with experience would find evident. I do have the support of my coworkers however. Just last week our executive producer invited me to dinner where he asked me to pull a brand new marketing promotion out of my ass that would take us in a yet unexplored direction. I’m no Italian bobsledder but I decided rather then trying to be the sparkling goldfish in a deep sea tank, I would be the Beta fish in my own bowl. My idea was to market to collectable gamers who visit hobby shops since no other online game has even attempted to capture an audience in the physical space. Saga is actually the first collectable online miniatures game.

My friend Phil has said in the past that if someone isn’t doing something I should look for the reason why. But I’m selling phoneless cords here. I don’t think anyone really knows what they are doing.

I wrote an article that will be coming out in this month’s Scrye magazine which is the bible for collectable gamers, and negotiated a deal with every major hobby distributor in the US to mail to their clients post cards that would give gamers who visit their shops access to the Saga Beta test. I’ve also designed 2 retail items that will be sold in every hobby store in America and a few in Europe and am currently working on getting the product into K-B toys, Toys R Us and most comic book stores that also sell collectable card games. Players will be able to purchase this product, enter the code they receive and get the products, delivered online. In addition to this I’ve placed Saga at every website that hosts downloads and have other online promotions, interviews and reviews scheduled.

I don’t know what else I could possibly do, and the not knowing is keeping me up at night. Yesterday the executive producer told me he really likes what we have so far and was wondering if I could pull something else out of my ass. Sure no problem I said let me sit on it.

And since it’s been awhile, here is my cat. I think he’s dead.

No more rain

2007-10-22T11:53:00.000-06:00

People keep telling me that Utah has not seen this much rain in 6 years. Finally last weekend it didn’t rain. It snowed, 3”-5” in most parts of the valley. Of course this is the desert so it’s all gone today. I’m sure more will come next weekend.

Mean Kitty

2007-10-09T00:57:00.001-06:00

It's really unlike me to promote someone elses work but I can't get this song out of my head so I feel I have to share The Mean Kitty Song.

The 10th time through it actually got to be quite annoying. Listen to the tune at the beginning. Now notice its in the background the entire video and it's really bothering me. The entire skit could have been so much better without that tune. This is going to keep me up at night.

Already at over 3,000,000 views, shit like this spreads faster then VD in Nevada, which gives gives me an awesome idea for promoting my companies game.

Sorry mom.

Netflix

2007-10-07T23:28:00.000-06:00

I am holding firm in my determination to remain cable TV free for the duration of my stay in Utah. I realize my personality is highly susceptible to distractions and having the ability to plop down on my couch will have me wasting many hours that could be used more fruitfully.

I do however realize that the absolute lifestyle isn’t for me and for this reason I have decided to order Netflix . The way I see it, this will actually save me time because I won’t be as tempted to see every single flick that comes to the big screen, because it’s difficult to resist at $4.50 for the matinee shows.

The service is great for casual movie watchers, but the rating system is inadequate for movie lovers like myself and my friend Joe. The rating system is based on 1 to 5 stars, 1 or 2 and you hate it, 3 to 5 go from liked it to loved it. Unfortunately this system will not be able to determine which movies I enjoy based on my choices which I either don’t rate due to not having seen them or rate at 4 or 5 stars. I really love movies, all movies really in the genres I tent to see.

What I really need is a 6th star for movies that were super awesome good such as all the resident Evil movies and anything starring Tom Hanks and then a 7th star where I would place such movies as the Matrix and Lord of the rings.

Addendum

2007-10-07T01:35:00.001-06:00

I feel it is important to add to the post bellow that the reason why I was so disappointed with the Christians who thought it was their duty to heckle the Mormons is that there is one main difference between Mormons and Christians.

The “original” Christians believe that God, Christ and the Holy Ghost are both separate and the same deity and that how this can be true is beyond human understanding. Mormons (who are also Christians) believe that they are just separate, which makes a lot more sense to me. People die over such small differences in another part of the world. I’ll be damned if I’m going to support such behavior in my America.

What I was really thinking as I drove away, was that I would love to see these same people fly to Israel and try the same tactics at a Synagogue in front of Jews who have decided to never turn the other cheek again.

Their comments were simply ignorant and nothing that day made me feel a greater appreciation for the Mormon religion then watching them walk calmly past these individuals in such great numbers.

It also was unfair for me to state that the “entire” session was an infomercial with no persons attempting to deliver a moral message as is common for a religious gathering.

In fact the show began with an apostle who was likely in his 90’s attempting to deliver just such a speech, however he was shaking badly within 3 minutes requiring another apostle to physically support him from behind. Despite his obvious pain the man persevered and delivered his entire message although to me it was unintelligible. Still his determination was admirable.

General Conference

2007-10-07T00:57:00.000-06:00

Mormonism is a benign religion preaching (although not practicing) acceptance of other cultures. If my coworkers could be promoted as the sole representatives of the faith, the Mormon religion would gain far wider acceptance then its current 13 Million members, numbering only slightly higher than the World of Warcraft players of Earth.

There are many stereotypes regarding the Mormon religion and from my brief stay in Utah I have learned that no person professing to follow the Mormon religion as promoted by the Church of Latter day Saints (LDS Church) practices polygamy. The rest is all fairly accurate. Today I had the pleasure of attending the largest Mormon gathering in the US, the 177th General Conference. A semi annual event when top church officials work together to produce a televised marketing campaign.

It was actually an extremely disappointing experience. Prior to entering I encountered Christian fanatics whose God obviously told them it was their mission to come out to vocally condemn the Mormons.

I left without conversing with these individuals content only in my knowledge that they would become thoroughly soaked in the freezing downpour and would get their wish of meeting their god soon enough.

My parking pass, admission ticket and the jacket that held both; stated that no recording devices were permitted inside the church, which made me a bit anxious regarding my planned recording excursion. I tried to keep cool as I emptied my pockets including my camera phone prior to walking past the extremely large and I imagine well armed gentleman guarding the metal detectors. A lady operating the machine actually picked up my phone and asked out loud what it was, phone I said, ringer on silent, as I swiped it from her grasp and shoved it in a pocket hurrying past.

My ticket was inspected by no less than a dozen attendants each directing me closer to my assigned section. I was not surprised by the number of staff assigned to keep order during the event, although disappointed when Linda was stationed next to my seat as if to make sure I conducted myself properly.
Linda watched me like a hawk, and yet like a weasel I managed to snap a few shots as she scurried up and down the aisles.

The lights dimmed to signal the start of the event and everyone bowed their heads in a prayer lead by a church official on stage. I never before appreciated American cultural diversity until this moment when it was evident the one token black choir boy was the only African American in the room. Then the commercials began.

As the public relations director for my company I am familiar with spin when it slaps me in the face. The entire service was nothing less than a 2 hour long infomercial. A speech preaching acceptance of other races and cultures was delivered by a Chinese man, one of three in the room. A top official preached on the benefits of Mormonism, sighting longer life spans and a divorce rate lower than the national average. Judging by the 5 to 1 ratio of LDS women with children looking for male companionship on a popular dating site, I have to believe he meant 49.5%.

I was really hoping to see what the religion was about instead of 2 hours obviously meant to promote the religion to those who may be tuning in out of curiosity. The high point of the show was a cute girl sitting next to me slipping a note into my lap. It read “I found Mormonism when I was 18 … changed my life … my husband … invite you to learn more”. Crap, I forgot to wear a white T-shirt to mimic the religious garments worn by those of the Mormon faith. Either that or my uncontrolled giggling during a hymn sung by the choir “Gird up your Loins”. Yes I know, very mature.

I realize I only fall back on the Jewish faith when it is convenient but I can’t think of a more appropriate time in my life when claiming complete faith to another religion would have been more beneficial. We Jews actually have it fairly good. A Jew can eat bacon and neglect Synagogue for, what’s it been? Over 20 years and still remain every bit a Jew.

Toward the end of the 2 hour session, I noticed people beginning to fidget. No longer were men bowing with eyes closed when a new official would say a prayer prior to his presentation and women were digging deep in their purses for what I found out soon enough were full sized cameras. During the last 10 minutes flashes could be seen from every section.

More Christians had arrived with signs by the time I made it outside. Not the most intelligent thing to do in a state that can bar cameras but not guns from buildings of worship.

Camo cat

2007-09-30T23:23:00.000-06:00

I am susceptible to short periods of laziness lasting only as long as minor obstacles present themselves, so downpours of rain and hail are enough to deter me from making a trek through the woods 2 weeks in a row. I've been extremely lucky all my life, which is why I must seek reasons outside of coincidence for this latest pattern of weekend rain. If the great men of science from the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster can diagnose the reason for global warming, surely through abstract science I can determine the reason for these unusual downpours in the desert.

I have hard evidence that Utah was crime free prior to my arrival. In addition I've been told that Utah has been experiencing an extreme drought for the last 6 years. If you can believe that my arrival did not in itself introduce a shady element, which I know is a stretch, then you can infer that the amount of crime is directly proportional to the rain. Which only by coincidence has started on the exact date of my landing in Salt Lake.

I give you a simple game store owner, content in his grim existence devoid of female distractions. Had I not been giving an intern a ride home who knew of the stores location I would not have found it despite my GPS telling me I had arrived. The store you see was devoid of signage. This perturbed me. Why would a store owner run a business establishment without proper signage? I was about to put this inquiry to the grim proprietor, when the intern stopped me and in doing so probably saved my life. You see only weeks prior someone had stolen the large signage over his shop and he was extremely grumpy in regards to anyone bringing up the subject.

Those of you who read this blog in the security that you have seen your last cat may want to stop here, for now I bring you some photos at the request of my family. My sister asked me what do I see when I open my front door. She was disappointed with the answer being the door across the hall, however if I walk down half a flight of stairs onto the sidewalk I am presented with this site.

My mom was wondering how I live, so following is a photo of one of the items I picked up this weekend to make this place feel more like home.

Since this isn't just my home, here is a closeup of the other resident blending into the new furniture.

Fifth times the charm

2007-09-27T22:34:00.001-06:00

I've never been one to put up with stupid time consuming crap and choosing basic services is based as much on convenience as on quality. I realize Verizon is not the cheapest cell phone company and I have heard horror stories in regards to their customer service, but as long as I could pay my bills right on my cell phone it never really effected me.

Five months ago I got a call from the Verizon customer service department informing me that I was about to go over my monthly minutes which would be very expensive under my current plan. I was offered a new upgraded phone if I agreed to extend my contract for 2 years and up my plan to 1000 minutes. This sounded like a win win, so I wholeheartedly agreed.

Four months ago I got another call from Verizon telling me that due to technical difficulties, my agreement to the new contract had not been recorded and I would have to agree to all the terms, which the representative insisted in reading in slow monotonous tones one item at a time. I begged him to stop, telling him I would agree to all his terms, but he insisted that each one had to be read carefully and my agreement had to be recorded to each one. Fine, I persevered and finlay made it to the end of the presentation.

Three months ago, I got another call from Verizon telling me that I was not eligible for a free phone since I was agreeing to an upgraded contract and my old one had not run out, and if I could please agree to the terms again, under the new arrangement. Please no I pleaded with the man, but he would have none of it. 30 minutes later he had my torture recorded and I was out one new phone.

Two Months ago, I got a call from another Verizon representative telling me I now owed close to $700 because all my contracts were void and I was not allowed to have my agreements recorded in the state of Massachusetts. Instead I had to sign a contract that she would send me, after which she would agree to remove the extra charges due to going over the minutes I was already promised were mine by 3 other service reps.

Last month prior to leaving Massachusetts, trying to get my affairs in order, I drove to a Verizon service center. I signed a contract with a black pen and despite the service manager towering a foot over my head, made perfectly clear that I was signing up for 2 more years and had him remove all charges from my account.

This week I got a call from Verizon. Right away I asked to speak to the supervisor because I already knew what was coming. The supervisor informed me that my plan was going to expire in 2 months and offered me a free phone if I agreed to have my contract extended by 2 more years. She assured me she could extent this agreement over the phone.

Two months from now I am finally getting my brand new phone, with a larger keypad, much better camera and a brand new cell phone service provider.

Random thought

2007-09-25T23:48:00.000-06:00

How did I ever live without central heating? How does anyone?

My tree

2007-09-25T00:31:00.000-06:00

Back in the Ukraine my mom had a carved picture of an Aspen tree. I spent many nights falling asleep looking at that carving thinking it must be the most buitiful tree in the world. When I got to America however the tree was missing. I recall catching glimpses of it in peoples back yards but as a ghost it was gone when I later returned to where I thought it lived.

After almost getting killed the cave was a disappointment. I expected crystals of every color set aglow by lasers but instead the overly excited ranger who seemed to have forgotten she was still bleeding gave a tour that consisted of rock formations she called Cave Bacon and some curly protrusions she said existed in no other cave in such quantities. Shit, if I only knew I could charge people to see curly protrusions.

The ranger was a 5th grade teacher during the week and treated myself and the other 6 visitors as she would her class. Before going inside she asked, does anyone know the first rule of exploring a protected natural cave? I raised my hand, don't pee inside the cave? She was not amused. Thankfully it was over quickly, just like a colonoscopy and I was through to the other side. It was getting late and the ranger decided to follow me down and yell at me as I leaned over the sides to take pictures of Utah valley. Along the way we noticed that one of the other visitors traveling ahead of us must be removing the signs and chucking them off the mountain. When the ranger stopped to radio in this emergency I took the opportunity to sneak away and hurry the rest of the way down, passing a very nice couple I was sure were responsible.

Thankfully I own a GPS which told me I could be home in 12 minutes if I took one road, and an hour if I went the long way. I drove for a long time through forests that would have looked exactly like this had I gotten out and taken a picture.
Another 15 minutes driving up through the mountains had me passing a river that I could only hear bellow. Then one last turn I crested a hill and there it was. As far as I could see bellow cloud covered mountains rolling Aspen filled hills full of colors that put Massachusetts Fall season to shame. This is my new favorite place on earth. I am taking one of those trees with me when it comes time to leave this state.

Praise Jebus

2007-09-23T17:24:00.000-06:00

I really wanted to keep posting on a regular basis but last night the 2 bartenders who live upstairs from me were throwing a loud party which kept me from concentrating on my writing. I had no choice but to go upstairs and explain my one simple rule of throwing loud parties after hours, which resulted in my slight hangover this morning. I’m actually not sure what they do for a living.

I’ve heard a lot about how beautiful the parks and trails are and yesterday despite the weather decided to explore the Timpanogos Cave located high in the Wasatch Mountains. I didn’t want to go alone and tried inviting the 2 girls I’ve dated but they just mumbled something about crazy people hiking up mountains in the rain. So off I went alone but determined and despite my earlier experience unarmed.

The ominous pass that leads through the mountains is only a few miles from my house. I was unprepared for the miraculous transformation from desert to lush forests just on the other side.

At the ranger station I purchased a ticket for a guided tour of the cave for an hour in the future to give myself more than enough time to casually walk the 2 miles up the mountain. The ranger left me with one piece of advice. She said the rain increases the chance of rock slides on the mountain. If I hear clapping sounds, get small next to the mountain, put my hands over my head and pray to Jebus. Stories told to scare small children into staying close by their parents, I was sure.

I bought a poncho to keep dry and started on my way. The walk was amazingly easy at first with only a slight incline, then very quickly it got steeper. Before long I was wheezing like an old man. Children stopped to check on me as they passed by on their way down merrily skipping along. Again I didn’t think to bring any water and took to sucking the rain off my poncho to keep myself hydrated. Note to self, when hiking, bring water and a 45.

The very first sign I encountered was designed to preserve the natural beauty for future visitors that read "All minerals plants or animals must be left undisturbed." I didn’t give the last part of that much thought until I encountered other signs during my hike up the mountain.

The last animal sign convinced me that the rangers really know how to put visitors at ease. It read “Wild animals are not accustomed to human food, it could make them sick". The two things I didn’t see on my way up were rangers who must have a secret elevator and other “crazy” people hiking up in the rain.

About halfway up I encountered another sign. Damn this mountain has a lot of signs. This one read, “Do not stop in the striped areas, increased risk of rock slides”. That makes perfect sense to me I thought as I stopped in the middle of one to take this picture. If those rocks were to fall and hit me in the head, they could cause a tumor or something.

After licking my poncho dry and 18 rest brakes I was almost at the top of the mountain when I heard that clapping sound the ranger warned me about. I wasn’t sure what it was nor where it was coming from so I stopped to analyze the situation. About 3 seconds later a huge rock smashed into a thousand pieces and left a very large depression where I would have been had I kept moving. A ranger with a bloody arm came out to see if I was ok, she had been thrown out of the way of the other falling rocks by another ranger.

At least I arrived at the cave with 10 minutes to spare.

Tomorrow I will post pictures of Cave Bacon and the sights I encountered on my way down the mountain.

Interns for everyone

2007-09-21T01:42:00.000-06:00

My trip to the local colleges has really paid off. We have had a number of interns asking to join us for the quest scripting and artist positions. They are however a bit green and some have a warped sense of the operational structure at a game company.

Yesterday we had an English major come in to interview for a quest writer position. We explained that our engine has most but not all of the capabilities he wants to implement, to which he suggested that we should go whip the coders until they implement the desired functionality.

Before he is allowed to interact with the developers I am going to have to explain that the pecking order goes something like this.

Executive producer
Producer
Lead designer
Coder
Artist
QA tester
Water delivery guy
Mother of one of the QA testers
Intern
PR director

Once he understands where he stands, he will have much more realistic expectations of what he can expect from this position besides excellent experience to add to his resume.

Wholesome family values

2007-09-20T01:46:00.000-06:00

I’ve had writers block for the last few days. I’m sure it was due to a number of factors but most likely it was seeing this rare desert sea lion. I think they are also called California sea lions by some people who “claim” to be in the know.
One of the things I found most appealing about Utah was the lack of crime. After someone broke into my car in Massachusetts and made off with my GPS I felt completely violated, not to mention stranded with absolutely no way of finding my way home. It was refreshing to discover that crime did not exist in Utah; I got this information first hand from a lady that runs Valpak.

Valpak is a business that sells gift certificates at half price that can be used instead of cash at local establishments that range from a board game store to a Mexican restaurant. These gift certificates I found out upon visiting the Valpak offices are nothing more than black and white photo copies. I was informed that this is possible in Utah due to wholesome family values and a sense of community pride.

Intrigued by these honest people, I wanted to participate. So I went out and bought myself a flag that I proudly displayed outside my office building in recognition of national speak like a pirate day.
The flag was promptly stolen that evening. I swear I am utilizing my other new found Utah freedom of gun ownership and camping by a tree outside the office.

Also I have located 20 photo copies for free burritos that somehow materialized in my wallet.

Everyone does it

2007-09-14T00:32:00.000-06:00

I have taken up the torch for the company developer’s blog. I added the link on a new side navigation I put up over on the right. It had not been updated since late July, but I think the players will really enjoy a reading my twisted views on what goes on at a game studio.
Also I will put links there to blogs that my friends keep which obviously are not as cool as mine.

Drive through prayer

2007-09-13T00:49:00.000-06:00

In today's on-line communities human moderators are required. Even the best designed games such as World of Warcraft still benefit from having real people on-line to not only remove a certain undesirable element but also to hold the hand of new players who can feel overwhelmed by the size of a product designed to keep a players attention for many months even years.

I spent some time today interviewing potential guides who will act as both moderators and greeters in Saga. There is still much to do. I need to fill the private guide forums with instructions and guidance on how these volunteers can best assist us in welcoming new players and how to handle potentially explosive situations with white gloves so as to avoid indiscriminate banning of our customers. I want my guides to have every tool possible to assist them in their task, and fortunately I am getting great support from the producers who have allocated resources to allow my designs to be implemented.

The day ended unusually early. The executive producer for this studio is also a film producer and invited the staff to attend the local premier of his latest film Moving McAllister. On the way to the film I experienced Utah traffic. Two miles of bumper to bumper traffic, moving past an accident on the side of the road with a 65 MPH prayer for the well being of the victims. This is contradictory to east coast traffic where motorists feel it is vital to slow down before using God and Jesus in a slightly different context.

This is a fudge display from one out of over 20 different restaurants serving the largest in terms of gross income theaters in America. I am told the reason for this is Mormons don't drink or smoke or even do drugs to relax, so going to the movies is a more common form of entertainment.

Food of the gods

2007-09-11T23:24:00.000-06:00

I often find myself driving along at the direction of my GPS sounding similar to a nagging wife when all of a sudden I see something unbelievable out of the corner of my eye. Often it is unremarkable at least for Utah such as a lady with 11 kids in tow walking not far behind her friend who is herding 12 of her own. Sometimes however I see things that I have to return to photograph, much to the disappointment of my electric wife.

No one would believe me if I posted that today I saw 87 empty bottles of all sized being sold by a man wearing a suite sitting in an old rocking chair unremarkable except for a shotgun that seems somehow out of place with his attire. So here is a picture of the bottles, there either was no old man or I have gained wisdom enough in my travels not to take pictures of men with shotguns.
This one had my wheels screeching like one of the racers from The Fast and the Furious. I had to restrain myself as I gazed upon their selection of the finest desert ever invented by man and its accompanying toppings. Unable to take a picture of the selection due to shaking hands I was only able to point and grunt at the server who seemed accustomed to this behavior and packed for me my choice of blueberry rice pudding with chocolate shavings to go.

Burning the midnight oil

2007-09-10T22:40:00.000-06:00

At 10:40PM I am here with the designer and 2 of the coders, testing new builds as they go up on the internal server. I expect we will be here well past midnight. I sometimes look at my watch but not because I am anxious to leave, I worry that time is passing too quickly and there is so much to do. I have read blogs from other game developers who sound jaded after working yet another 14 hour shift during crunch time because their game absolutely has to be out by the end of the month. This is why I really enjoy working at startup companies. Everyone here is new and fresh and has more to gain the then 201st person at a large studio. Our game will not be out this month or even next, and no one will complain about yet another shift well into the night as long as a bug free patch can go up for our players.

Local Wildlife

2007-09-10T18:17:00.000-06:00

I find myself enjoying Utah more every day I am here. The religious presence actually enhances the atmosphere. If I am feeling generous, all I need to do is go to my local Chili’s where the waiter will ask me for a donation to a children’s charity before agreeing to actually serve me any food. I find the local movies spacious and quiet except for the times when half the theatre walks out during a sex scene that they were not aware would be included in the film. I highly recommend everyone go see Shootem Up. In Utah if at all possible.

The views however are like no other place in the world. I am told some visitors find the mountains intimidating, but I am amazed at their beauty. Another hiker died this weekend but the local authorities suspect it was due to a fall rather than a wild animal attack. I suspect she was pushed by a dear. I’m actually not sure how you can “suspect” a wild animal was not involved, but these are seasoned experts whose methods are beyond my understanding.

Life here is much simpler in many ways. For instance I had no doubt what this store specialized in when I saw the sign. Its quite cleaver don’t you think? Gunnies is actually a mining term that refers to open-cast mines. The word can also mean the empty space left by removing the lode from a mine, or the width of this space. Their selection of gunnies is almost as impressive as the mountains.

$2.75 richer

2007-09-08T22:41:00.000-06:00

We are all like little ants, dragging things into our homes one piece at a time. Unless we pay others to do it, then we are lazy ants, but still ants. I am no different and have already begun collecting items for my nest. Ignoring the car which I will argue is absolutely necessary for my environment and has nothing to do with impressing the female ants I have decided to live a minimalist lifestyle, at least until our game launches and we start pulling in some numbers.

I figure I need some basics, such as a desk so I can “work” at home, a bed so I can put the futon into the guest bedroom and eventually maybe a kitchen table and a couch. In addition I feel a washer and drier is a necessity and will save me money if I am here for more than 6 months. My budget for all of these items is $1000. At the urging of a good friend I drove to IKEA and for $70 found myself the most basic of tables.

I decided I despise IKEA. I located my desk within 10 minutes of entering the store, and then to my horror realized I was in a maze that would take the better part of an hour to navigate. The store is set up such that you must go past every display and through manipulation of space and time somehow backtrack to displays you have already seen but can never skip ahead.

IKEA doesn’t actually sell furniture. Only packages with the slim possibility of someday becoming furniture if you have the skill. My dad taught me long ago the value of doing things yourself; it’s about $5.50 an hour. Unless you’re a plumber or electrician or mechanic or have any other type of skill the lazy ant needs, in which case it’s closer to $150 an hour. The instructions that come with the random assortment of wood and nails don’t even have writing, only vague pictures that suggest what course you should follow to turn the junk they sold you into say a desk.
It was actually fairly easy. Within half an hour I had done a fine job of putting together a piece that very closely resembles a desk. Add 1 $8 folding chair from Target and we are in business. The corner closest to the window was quickly annexed by my cat, but there is still plenty of room for a monitor or two and keyboard.

Have car will travel

2007-09-07T20:49:00.000-06:00

Comcast is coming next Tuesday to install an 8 Mbps connection in my apartment, until then some of my neighbors with wireless routers have been kind enough to let me borrow some bandwidth. Last night however the connections were unreachable which is why I missed my daily post. I am sure I will think of better reasons in the future.

My car rental ran out today. I was faced with the option of leasing a Dodge Caliber, Buying a used vehicle or financing a new car. I don’t much like Dodge and the lease was way too high for a car I don’t really want. I looked at some used cars in my price range and none of them sounded like they would last the year. It’s not that I didn’t trust the used car salesmen, but I disagree that the engine light being on was cosmetic. I’ve heard that the winters can be brutal in Utah and I always loved the Subaru brand that everyone in my family drives so I picked the Impreza 5 door model.

For a 4 cylinder model the car has plenty of power and little gadgets standard like a plug for an IPod should I ever get one, and gas mileage readout. I didn’t take the most efficient rout according to my GPS to work today but the mileage display told me I could go to work and home 35 times before needing to fill up.

I live fairly close to the office and have a very quick and easy commute except for one damn stop sign that I can’t seem to obey no matter how much I prepare for it. I have no idea why anyone would put a stop sign there anyway, it’s not like there is an intersection or anything important.

Yay I have stuff

2007-09-06T00:14:00.000-06:00

My stuff came today. Well most of it anyway. One box is still listed as in transit with FedEx so it’s not lost yet, but as soon as I received email that the other 14 boxes were delivered I rushed right home and dragged them all inside. I only opened a couple but the expensive desktop that I was worried about most came through without a scratch. As soon as I figure out which box the power cable and monitor is in I will try to turn it on, assuming one of the monitor’s survived shipment.

I am not a spiritual or religious person, but if I were I imagine the gates of heaven would look something like this. The damn place was built a few months ago and I had been passing the mall with the Starbucks on my way to work for the last 2 days without even knowing it. It is too new for my GPS to know about but Google wasn’t fooled. Well ok it did confuse a closer Krispy Kreme Doughnuts with a Starbucks but there is room in my world for both.

Tomorrow I will spend most of the day visiting the 2 local colleges and the one in Salt Lake City to convince the deans of the computer science departments to give us some interns. I know Utah Valley University has a game theory degree and hopefully those students will realize the value of game industry experience. We have plenty of room in the building my goal is to get a few artists and scripter’s to work with us at least till winter break.

First day at work

2007-09-04T22:59:00.000-06:00

I jumped right into my job today. There are many things that need to be done on the marketing design and community management fronts. After getting a nice introduction, I decided to tackle the cheapest “in terms of coding resources” tasks first. I put up a guide application, and hopefully will get some good submissions this week. My 8 hours of meetings made it perfectly evident that I won’t be bored here for at least the next 6 months.

My office is at the front of the building walking distance to the kitchen where I will keep my coffee machine when I buy one. Apparently I am the only person currently working here who drinks coffee, how weird is that? I was told that there used to be a Dunkin Donuts in Utah but they closed and the closest Starbucks is 23 miles from the office, but it just may be worth it.

I love the roads here. Most streets are 4 lanes across and even those have a center turning lane. There seem to be 2 speeds here, full speed ahead and stop. The problem is on the few streets that are only 1 lane each way with no center turn lane, people still expect you not to slow down the main lane when turning. I’ve seen 70 year old ladies corner at 55mph. There is no traffic unless you’re on the highway 1 hour before a college football game, and even on the road in front of my house with 7 lanes across it, I have no problem making a left turn during rush hour across 4 of those lanes.
My coworkers tell me the mountains are perfectly safe. You “usually” hear the rattle snakes well before you step on them, the mountain lions can be scared away “almost always” and the bears have never hurt anyone except for the one guy they killed last month.

So this is Utah?

2007-09-03T21:25:00.000-06:00

I have been here for 3 days now and still have much to do before I am settled.
I now own a microwave, a futon, 1 metal chair and a folding table. The last 2 serving as my computer desk.

My apartment seems small for 1100 sq feet but the agent claims that is the correct size. I am going to have to measure it later. The cat refuses to live in the guest bedroom and the master bedroom isn't going to be large enough for both of us if he keeps trying to push me off this little futon. I need to buy a larger bed and soon.

I tried to go to work today but after spending an hour on the steps decided that people were not coming in on Labor Day as they had promised they would Friday. I will not have a key to the building till tomorrow.

The mountains are taunting me and I finally had enough, I drove as far as I could, got out and started walking. I must be more out of shape then I thought. After only half an hour I was completely out of breath, it is probably a good thing because I saw large piles of poop that could have been bear poop as easily as anything else. After hearing some noise in the bushes which I later found out were a pair of man eating dear I decided to head back down.
Mountain 1, Slava 0

I didn't want to be defeated by nature on my first trip out so I decided to drive across town to the lake and the sight was worth the trip. This picture doesn't do it justice. I've also never seen so many bugs in my life.